Connecting with Your Teen

Sometimes connecting with teens isn’t the easiest of ventures. Obstacles like generational gaps, difference in gender, or simply difference of opinions may be getting in the way of seeing eye to eye with your teen. A few simple things to consider practicing include:

1. Withholding Judgement

When you ask about their day or an outing with friends - seek to understand. Sometimes a barrage of questions can feel like an interrogation. Consider their perspective – “Are they asking to find something to punish me for?” “What if they don’t like what I say, and they take away my privileges?”

2. Allowing for Exploration of Interests (..within reason)

Allow them to become the person they want to be. If theater is something they’re interested in, allow and encourage for the exploration. Perhaps video games, or a book series is really of interest at this time; be there for that.

3. Relating

They like learning about you too! Talk about your successes as well as your struggles (past/present). They’re still learning – who better to teach them than you?

4. Privacy

This can be a tricky one. They might’ve shared everything with you just a few years ago, but now you’ve been replaced with friends and technology. Remember – allowing for exploration is important too.

5. Trusting

Trust that they’re prepared to make good choices without you in their presence. Not everything will be in your (or their) control. In turn, they may gain trust in coming to you when it’s important.